...to be nice to your cashier? Like seriously people. They have a shitty, thankless job. They scan your 2-inch-thick stacks of coupons without complaint. They bag your shit for you. They put up with crap from every low-life with a credit card that happens to waltz through their line. Is it so hard to smile and be patient for 3 minutes? Really?
In my two weeks so far at Fred Meyer, I've grown to hate a few groups of people. I've been screamed at (in SEVERAL languages), sang to, assaulted, and told that I am worthless and incompetent by old ladies.
PEOPLE WHO SUCK:
*People with STACKS of coupons who don't LOOK at the coupons before they hand them to me. I swear I get more of these than anything else. If you rip a coupon out of the newspaper, LOOK AT IT. Look to see what is NOT included in it. Look to see what the GODDAMN EXPIRATION DATE is. Or you know, WHAT STORE IT'S FOR. I get so many people who get OFFENDED when I scan the coupon and get an error message. It's then MY JOB to dig through their bags and see what the coupon is for and then tell them "maam/sir I'm sorry this coupon is expired" or "maam/sir this is the wrong coupon" OR "maam/sir I'm sorry but we don't accept competitor coupons".
Now, the reasonable thing to do in this situation would be to go "Oh, I'm sorry. Just throw it away". But that NEVER happens. No. These people feel the need to PROTEST my inability to scan their goddamn coupon for 30 cents off their mac and cheese or 10% off their purchase of yogurt.
"Well can't you just enter it in MANUALLY?"
No, lady. No I can't. Because there is no goddamn sale on mac and cheese anymore. Because this coupon is 2 fucking weeks old. Because you can't fucking read. Because you expect me to make an exception JUST FOR YOU because you're a special snowflake. Because I don't mind HOLDING UP EVERYONE BEHIND YOU IN LINE.
These people can go to hell.
*People who use re-usable cloth bags and keep them hidden until I have already started bagging things. Now, I've made my peace with the re-usable bags. I've even memorized the code for the bag refund. It's a pain but it's no longer the most infuriating thing about my job. What IS infuriating is the people who put them on the bottom of their cart or set them at the END OF THE BELT BEHIND THEIR FOOD SO THEY'RE NOT VISIBLE. These people let me get through 3 or 4 bags of stuff before they go "Oh! I have bags!" or snarl "didn't you see my bags?!" I now have to RE-BAG everything. Holding up the entire line because they weren't considerate enough to fucking put their bags in front of or on top of their stuff.
*People who try to steal stuff by putting it on the bottom of their basket and trying to block me from seeing it or by hiding things inside containers. These people get OFFENDED when I bend over to scan the things on the bottom of their basket. And infuriated when I open that lunch box or garbage can they're buying to check for hidden items. I even had one lady say "So what, you're not trusting customers anymore? What kind of place is this?" Of course, this lady had hidden about two pounds of candy inside a lidded garbage can, probably expecting me to not check it. Screw you lady.
*People who get in line behind people with HUGE AMOUNTS OF STUFF and make a show of being impatient when it takes more than 30 seconds to ring them up. Working at grocery/superstore, I get people coming through my line with stuff piled so high in their carts that they can't see over the top of them anymore. It generally takes me about 10 to 11 minutes to ring these massive orders up. In a few months I might be able to breeze through them, but there is a lot of work involved in trying to bag and get all that shit back in a cart. If you get in line behind one of these huge orders, it's YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT. Not mine. Stomping your feet, huffing, pacing back and forth, sighing dramatically, and glaring at me will not make me go any quicker. I only have two hands.
*Luckily I've only had one of these: PEOPLE WHO PUT THEIR ENTIRE ORDER ON THE BELT AND THEN TAKE OFF AND LEAVE IT THERE. You know what mystery shopper? I hate you. I hate you and the hundreds of dollars worth of groceries you just left on my belt without coming through my line. PEOPLE: IT'S NOT HARD TO TELL YOUR CASHIER "I don't want this anymore"!!! I can put it aside and you can go on your merry way. Holding up an entire line because we're trying to find a customer that no longer exists is fucking rude. I hate you.
*People who get offended when I ask for ID. I've had a couple of these. Most older people, especially women, are flattered when I ask for ID. I'm allowed to use my better judgement, but if you look under 30 chances are I'm going to ask you. I got SCREAMED at a while ago because I asked a girl who looked 12 to show me ID. Screamed at in spanish and called a "fucking puta" because she "shouldn't have to show no fucking ID to some stupid bitch in a smock". If you're going to buy cigarettes or booze, bring your goddamn ID. If you drove to the store, you should have it with you anyways. It's not hard. It only takes a second. And think of it as a compliment and not an insult.
*People who try to walk off with their stuff without paying: NO. BAD.
*People who find a tiny mistake on their receipt and come back to hassle me. I am not kidding, I had a lady heckle me for 10 min while I was with a customer because of THIRTY CENTS. I can understand if it was a few dollars, or I rang something up twice. But thirty cents. Fuck you lady. These people get offended when I send them to the customer service desk for their refund. Even when I tell them that I CANNOT LEGALLY REFUND THEM MONEY AFTER THE TRANSACTION IS OVER WITHOUT A MANAGER PRESENT.
"WELL GET YOUR MANAGER"
"Maam, there is a PIC at the customer service desk that can do this in about 30 seconds. I'm with a customer and it would take me 5 minutes to get ahold of a manager and get you your thirty cents."
"I DON'T CARE I WANT MY MONEY."
Fuck you lady. FUCK YOU.
....I'm sure I'll find more to add to this list later when I'm not sick as a dog.
*flop* 
Anger
Lmao
Optimism
Disgust
Love
